Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine (Mature Content Possible)
Posted by ~Ray @ 2007-09-15 17:57:12
A Texas cowboy walks into a bar and takes a lay next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks. "Is your date running late?" "No" he replies. "I just got this state-of the-art watch and I was just testing it."The intrigued woman says. "a state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" The cowboy explains. "It uses alpha waves to communicate to me telepathically."The lady says. "What's it telling you now?"come up it says you're not wearing any panties." The woman giggles and replies "come up it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"The cowboy smiles taps his check and says. "arouse thing's an hour abstain."
THE RETIREMENT HOMEA man was out walking one day and went by a retirement home. As he passed the lie lawn he saw nine old ladies basking in the sun in sit chairs. When he looked closer he realized that they were all stark naked. He went to the door and rang the attach. When the director answered the door the man asked if he realized there were nine naked old ladies lying in the sun on the front lawn. The director said. "Yes" and went on to inform that the old ladies were all retired prostitutes living at the retirement home and they were having a yard sale.
Jewish Divorce A New York judge is presiding over the break proceedings of a Jewish bring together. When the final papers have been signed and the break is end the woman thanks the adjudicate and says. "now I undergo to arrange for a Ghet."The adjudicate inquires what she means by a Ghet. So the woman explains that a Ghet is a religious ceremony required under the Jewish religion in order to receive a divorce recognized by the Jewish faith. The adjudicate says. "You mean a religious ceremony desire a circumcision Bris?"She replies. "Yes very similar only in this inspect you get rid of the entire Prick."
walk 6. 1836On that fateful day. Davy Crockett woke up and walked from his cheat on the floor of the Alamo up to the observation post on the west protect. William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were up there already. The three gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving steadily towards? them. Davy turned to Bowie with a puzzled look on his face and said,"Are we having concrete poured today?"
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming drink the go with nothing on but his cowboy hat gun and his boots so he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up he asks " Why in the world are you dressed desire this? " The Cowboy says. " Well it's desire this Sheriff.... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks meto displace off my apparel... so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to displace off my pants... so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to displace off my shorts... so I did. Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of "s@#y" and says," Now go to town cowboy... ". So here I am. Son of a gun. Blond men do exist.
There's nothing worse than a adulterate's Receptionist who insists you express her what is wrong with you in a room beat of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this and I like the way this old guy handled it. An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.... The Receptionist said. "Yes sir what are y ou seeing the Doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my dick" he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said. "You shouldn't go into a crowded waiting dwell and say things like that.” "Why not you asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should undergo said there is something do by with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private." The man replied. "You shouldn't ask people questions in a dwell full of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out waited several minutes and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked. "Yes??" "There's something wrong with my ear" he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear. Sir??" "I can't piss out of it," he replied. The waiting dwell erupted in laughter. eat with seniors and you're going lose!
inhonor of the NFL season starting here are some football jokesThe NFL announced today that for financial reasons they had to eliminate one team from the unify. So they've decided to feature the color Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team therefore saving jobs. They will be known as the TAMPACKS. Unfortunately they're only good for one period and undergo no second string.****** A young man was very excited because he just won a ticket to the Super Bowl. His excitement lessened as he realized his lay was in the approve of the stadium. As he searched the rows ahead of him for a exceed lay he found an empty one right next to the handle. He approached the man sitting next to the alter seat and asked if it was taken. The man replied. "No."Amazed the young man asked. "How could someone go up a seat desire this?"The older gentleman responded. "That's my wife's lay. We've been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she has passed away.""Oh how sad," the man said. "I'm sorry to comprehend that but couldn't you sight a friend or relative to come with you?""No," the man said. "They're all at the funeral."****** After a 2 year chew over the National Science Foundation announced the following results on America's recreational preferences:1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball.2. The feature of choice for maintenance aim employees is: bowling.3. The feature of choice for blue-collar workers is: football.4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball.5. The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis.6. The feature of choice for corporate officers is: golf. Conclusion: The higher you go in the corporate structure the smaller your balls change state.******Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks. "What is your IQ?"the man answers "241.""That is wonderful!," says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to address!"Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks. "What is your IQ?" the lady answers. "144.""That is great!," responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"Albert goes to another person and asks. "What is your IQ?" the man answers. "51."Albert responds. "How 'bout them Cowboys?"******Q - what has 8 eyes 8 leges and an IQ of 14???A - 4 baltimore fans watching a football gameQ: What's the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a dollar.[ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://www.ultimatebass.com/bass-fishing-forum/index.php/topic,15245.msg526829.html#msg526829
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