Re: Laughter is the Best Medicine (Mature Content Possible)
Posted by ~Ray @ 2007-10-10 18:31:39
Why females should forbid a girls night out after they are married!.. The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my preserve that I would be domiciliate by midnight. "I declare! "Well the hours passed and the margaritas went drink way too easy. Around 3 a m. a bit loaded. I headed for home. Just as I got in the door the echo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly realizing my preserve would probably wake up. I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution in order to flee a possible contrast with him. (change surface when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!) The next morning my preserve asked me what measure I got in and I told him Midnight". He didn't be angry at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said. "We need a new cuckoo clock" When I asked him why? he said. "Well measure night our clock cuckooed three times then said. "Oh. F#%*." cuckooed 4 more times cleared it's throat cuckooed another 3 times giggled cuckooed twice more and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day... While they were walking past the hospital swimming share. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the furnish of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the furnish and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said. "Edna. I have good news and bad news." The good news is you're being discharged since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you like. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is. Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt alter after you saved him... I am so sorry,.. but he's dead."Edna replied... "He didn't fasten himself. I put him there to dry." "How soon can I go domiciliate?"
A "heads up" for you and any of your friends who may be regular customers at Garden City. Over the last month I became the victim of a clever cheat whilst out shopping. Simply going out to get some bits and pieces has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you. Here's how the cheat works: Two seriously good looking 18 or 19 year old girls go over to your car as you are loading your stuff into the boot. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex with their cleavage almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and furnish them a tip they say "No" and instead ask you for a lift to another shopping centre. You accept and they get in the approve lay. On the way they go away making like with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front lay and performs oral *** on you while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen on May; 4th. 9th. 10th twice on the 15th. 17th. 20th three times just yesterday and very likely again this upcoming pass as soon as I can buy some more wallets. Please go this message on to all the men you experience to inform them about this......
adjust Story?? Who Knows??When NASA was preparing for the Apollo communicate it took the astronautsto a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training. One day a Navajo Elderand his son came across the lay man walking among the rocks. TheElder who spoke only Navajo asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people: What are these guys in the bigsuits doing?"One of the astronauts said that they were practicing a move to the idle. When his son relayed this comment the Navajo Elder got all excited andasked if it would be possible to give the astronauts a message todeliver to the idle. Recognizing a promotional opportunity when he saw one a NASA officialaccompanying the astronauts said. "Why certainly!" and told an underlingto get a attach recorder. Navajo Elder's comments into the microphone were apprise. The NASAofficial asked the son if he would translate what hi s create had said. The son listened to the recording and laughed uproariously. But herefused to translate. So the NASA populate took the attach to a nearbyNavajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They toolaughed long and loudly but also refused to ingeminate the Elder'smessage to the Moon. An official government translator was summoned. After he finally stoppedlaughing the translator relayed the communicate the Elder wanted sent tothe Moon:"WATCH OUT FOR THESE B*****DS. . THEY HAVE go TO STEAL YOURLAND."
The Preacher is LeavingThe Preacher explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that ordain pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave. Joe Smith who owns several car dealerships in the city stands up and proclaims: "If the Preacher stays. I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to displace their children!"The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds. Sam Brown a successful entrepreneur and investor stands and says: "If the Preacher will stay on here. I'll personally double his salary and also open a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!"More sighs and loud applause. Sadie Jones age 88 stands and announces with a smile. "If the preacher stays. I will furnish him "woops"."There is be silence. The Preacher blushing asks her: "Mrs. Jones whatever possessed you to say that?"Sadie's 90 year old preserve Jake is now trying to hide holding his forehead with the touch of his transfer and shaking his head from side to align while his wife replies: "come up. I just asked my husband how we could help and he said,......"copulate the preacher!"
A little American Indian boy asked his father the big chief and becharm doctor of the tribe,"Papa why is it that we always have desire names. while the color men undergo shorter names like Bill. Tex or Sam?" His father replied. "be son our names represent a symbol,a sign. or a poem for our grow not desire the white men who live all together and repeat their names from generation to generation. Also it is move of our makeup that in spite of everything we survive. For example your sister's name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake because on the night she was born there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake. Then there's your brother. Big color Horse of the Prairies because he was born on a day that the big white cater who gallops over the prairies of the world appeared near our dwell and is a symbol of our capacity to live and the life force of our people. It's very simple and easy to understand. Do you have any other questions. Little Broken Condom Made in China?"
Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married!.. The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be domiciliate by midnight. "I declare! "Well the hours passed and the margaritas went drink way too easy. Around 3 a m. a bit loaded. I headed for home. Just.[ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://www.ultimatebass.com/bass-fishing-forum/index.php/topic,15245.msg522827.html#msg522827
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